Do you sell names to pharmacutical companies for medicines? Authors for fictional characters?

I do not sell to big pharma. I would consider allowing a name to be used for a fictional character, but only at the request of one of my favorite published authors.

Your website is nice. Did you design it?

No, I did not. Someone I knew from highschool who works in graphics design set it up for me as a favor.

What types of punishments aside from those administered by courts of law do you inflict on name theives?

I have to keep that information to myself. I will say that knowing what I know, I would not consider stealing a name. The punishments are ones I made up.

Does it ever take you longer than four to six weeks to come up with unique names? If so, am I entitled to a partial refund?

Yes, on occasion names take longer than the established time to come to me. If we pass the six week mark, I will send you an official notice. No, I do not offer partial refunds.

How can you be certain that your names are unique? Couldn't eskimos or African tribal peoples, for instance, never have been recorded in Google, social, censuses, and the like?

Nothing in life is entirely certain. That being said, I do ask friends travelling to remote regions to look out for items listing names: telephone books, important scrolls, and family trees. Many such items have been brought to me, yet I have never found any names that match those I've generated. 

Are you aware of apps like Wordoid, which generate unique names for companies and the like?

Yes, however, an unfeeling, soulless machine comes up with these words. It is entirely different from Gabooldra, which generates names via customer questionnaires and my gift, which, to be frank, taps mystically into the human soul to discover its true name. No computer can do that.

Maybe you were born to play football or work at the store. I was born to name.

Can I return a name if I don't like it?

No. You can opt not to use the name, but I do not offer refunds of any sort.

What is the difference between plagarism and name theft?

While I do not endorse plagarism, it is not as serious as name theft. Plagarists are usually punishable by failing grades in school or public embarassment. The punishments for name theft are far more severe.


A person's true, unique name is inherently his or her own. It is like fingerprints. If one person's fingerprints were stolen and sewn on to that other person's hands, courts of law would charge the guilty party with torture, grand larceny, battery, criminal misconduct and the like. Due to the closeness of unique names and fingerprints, the same charges apply. The same punishments (or worse) also apply.

Can anyone in the world buy your names?

No. Residents of New Zealand, Sweden, and the Dominican Republic may not buy my names. These countries have banned unique names by law. For instance, in Sweden, a parent was prevented from naming his/her child Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, pronounced Albin. Please see this article for more details. I commend CNN's "Global Public Square" for bringing news of this import to the forefront of its webpage. Please join me in my refusal to support name-restricting countries in world events such as the Olympics and widescale wars. It is my hope that our efforts may someday draw attention to name banning, which I consider more headline worthy than book banning.

I am also considering stopping service to North Korea. I will update this page based on my final decision. I sell to all other countries in the world.

Do you charge shipping and handling for name certificates?

Yes. The charge is 3% of your name's price.

How do you determine pricing for names?  (FORMERLY, NOW THEY ARE FREE).

I come up with names based on the information in customer questionnaires and the general feel I take away from my conversations with customers. Some names are simply harder to generate. Pricing reflects this. On occasion I will come up with a name I consider particularly good. Price hikes occur in this case as well.

Infant pets' names almost always fall in the $2,000 to $8,000 range because I find them less difficult to generate.

Is your own name unique? Is it Gabooldra?

My name is not unique, though, if I ever generate a unique name that I feel is my own, I will consider changing my name legally (naming is more difficult with one's self). Gabooldra is not my name, though I go by it for the purposes of my business. It is the name I believe my firstborn will require. 

If everyone in the world had a unique name would we eventually run out of unchosen names?

No, probably not. But, if so, we can always begin to include things like numbers and Russian letters.

Do you sell names to adults wishing to legally change their names?

Yes, however, I require meeting the adult in person, and extra charges apply.

Do pictures of pregnant bellies help you when naming babies?

I do not like pregnant stomach photography. Please do not send me these photographs. They do not help.

How many names have you sold?

I haven't counted recently, but the number is high.

How long has Gabooldra been in operation?

The website launched in August of 2011; however, I have been generating and selling unique names since I was in my mid-teens.

How old are you? What do you look like? 

Relevance, Your Honor?