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Hail the Royal Infant!

In a rare moon, I will take it upon myself to name free of charge, for the good of the people. This I will do for the fruit of Kensington Palace. Of course, I'm somewhat surprised the court has not yet contacted me, but I did accidentally break my voicemail this weekend.  

To the naming! 

If Duchess Kate bears a male heir, he shall be known as Baguclott: His Highness, Prince Baguclott of Cambridge. Hail him! (his image below) 


If Duchess Kate bears a female heir, she shall be known as Esallatestia: Her Highness, Princess Esallatestia of Cambrige. Hail her! (her image is below). 


To Duchess Kate and Prince William the Few-Haired, I cannot empahsize enough the importance of adopting these names. A unique country with a unique people deserves an heir apparent with a name as unique as he or she. If they do not heed my words, I fear for Great Britian. I fear for the world.

As the prophecy says: The sparrows will shriek; the ratfinks will peak; all good things will crumble, in a gnarling of beaks!* 


*copyright, me 

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