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Misspelling Names: Anger Relief Tactic 

"Asquawartz, or is it Askwaqorts?" $2,300

When I'm angry at someone I know, I enjoy misspelling his/her name in correspondence. I enjoy this because I think it is the meanest thing I could possibly do. And it's always deserved. I encourage you to do it also.

If a Rebecca has failed to respond to three of your emails in a row, address her in the fourth as "Rebekah." If an Asquawartz has refused to drive you to SunglassesHut, address him in writing as "Askwaqorts."

I find especially enjoyable evil in misspelling a bi-gendered name. When my acquaintance Francis (male), refused my offer of a discounted name (30%) for his infant dog, I addressed him in a certified letter as "Frances" (female). Ha!


Reader Comments (2)

Besides misspelling the name of a foe, another tactic is to refer to her by a familiar version, often clipped, of the whole name. This is especially off-putting to the foe if she detests false familiarity. For example, if I were determined to rankle Gabooldra, I might call her Gaboo, or Ga-BOO.

August 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPerithowle

Parithowle, I agree. I prefer that you not use my name as an example though.

August 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGabooldra

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